court

Court was a great success. We walked away with primary residence and child support. They haggled over the amount of the child support for over an hour and half. She lied of course about her income but in the end it did her no good. She didn't want to be put on the stand because she couldn't lie. The haggling was over 6 dollars if you can believe that. Oh well. It feels great to have vindication. Maybe some of the stress in my life will be less. That would be great. I like the idea of not having to talk about going to court or what the order might say. That is nice. So in total everything is going well.

Therapy

So Jason and I have been seeing a family counselor for about a month now. We started so we could get some help understanding how to deal with our kids. In the process we found that we needed some help with our own relationship. Today we went to see him and found out that we were arguing all week about something that could have been solved easily. We have to stop mind reading each other and placing thoughts that are not necessary. It confuses the real message coming from the other person. He actually stopped us just prior to a fight to make us realize that we were not that far off from understanding each other. We had the same train with the same basic knowledge but we turned in different directions. Understanding each other gave me a simple peace of mind. I hope that I can put it into practice and empower my husband instead of the opposite.

today

Ok so today isn't the best day for me. I have been feeling low all week. My grandmother is now in the hospital. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I hate this house. I hate my wheelchair. I hate everything right now. I spent most of the day yesterday crying my eyes out. Yet no one but my parents really seemed to care. I don't know what it is going to take to get me out of this funk. UGH

new car

So I must love the hubby a lot. Yesterday I took it upon myself to shop for and purchase a pickup truck from my bed. We have had a windstar mini van for the last three years. We both hate it. I feel like a scum bag when I'm in it. So I decided that enough was enough and I called the company we bought it from. I asked them to work the numbers and see if they could find me a truck instead. They did. They found a 2006 ford f150. This truck is a beauty. It is black and has a bedliner and cover. When it arrived last night my hubby jumped in it and didn't come back for an hour. When he got home he told me that he didn't think I could understand how much he loved his truck. He was actually glowing. I love to make him happy. Lately I've been doing too much to make him happy. I exhaust myself trying to make his job easier. I need to learn to get better first. He is a big boy and can handle a month of having to be mom and dad right? At least that is what everyone keeps telling me.

new year

well it's a new year. Is everything going to be new this year? I hope so. I hope that things fall in line and my life will start being more what I want it to be. I can't wait to try my wii fit plus. I also can't wait to get started on trying to have a baby. It will be difficult and painful but I am ready. I want to have a little one who is a little version of me and not someone who can be taken away. I love my step kids but having your own is so different. I really can't wait.

annoying step daughter

have you ever been tortured by a 10 year old girl? I have. As a matter of fact she is doing it now...she thinks that hitting me and drooling on me is fun. Not so much. I love her very much but she can be annoying. I mean nail grinding on the chalk board annoying. Right now she doesn't like that I'm writing about her. She keeps trying to delete what I am writing. She doesn't realize that it is a compliment to be in this blog. I haven't written about anyone else other than her dad. She should be happy. Oh well. On the whole she is a very good kid. She tries very hard in school and does her best to be on her best behavior when we are out in public. I realize it must be difficult for her because she has two homes. I had the advantage of having one home. I can't even imagine how hard it is to have your parents split up at age 5. I mean you know they are mom and dad but they aren't together anymore. How on earth they functioned past the divorce is beyond me. They do great though. They are challenged all the time with the differences between their parents. It must be like being caught between two rocks. They want to love both parents but how can you be loyal to both parents? It is such a hardship for a child to have to deal with. They amaze me most every day. I hope in the future they will understand the lengths to which their father and I have gone to make their lives as normal and stable as humanly possible.

Torture

So my wonderful in-laws got me the perfect gift for christmas. However, because I just had surgery I can't use it. I have to sit here and watch my entire family play it. UGH... I am happy though that they are getting the exercise they need. The wii fit plus keeps track of there weight and bmi and it has some great games to play. So the tortue will go on for another month then it will be my turn and maybe I won't share...lol