The worst pain ever

Ok so I thought that I had suffered a lot in my life but there is nothing that could have prepared me for the pain that followed my most recent surgery. I described it at one point to my father, who loving stayed with me in the hospital the whole time, that it felt like there was an elephant sitting on my ankle. I could feel every incision and every screw. It was horrific. They had to keep giving me morphine and oxycodone just for me to lay there with out crying. My father paced back and forth several times and looked as if he were going to explode. I could tell he wanted to help me, but there was nothing he could do. Him being there was more than enough. I don't think I would have been able to make as well as I did on my own. He really was a life saver for me. I hope that none of you ever have to experience 1/10th of what I went through.

court

Court was a great success. We walked away with primary residence and child support. They haggled over the amount of the child support for over an hour and half. She lied of course about her income but in the end it did her no good. She didn't want to be put on the stand because she couldn't lie. The haggling was over 6 dollars if you can believe that. Oh well. It feels great to have vindication. Maybe some of the stress in my life will be less. That would be great. I like the idea of not having to talk about going to court or what the order might say. That is nice. So in total everything is going well.

Therapy

So Jason and I have been seeing a family counselor for about a month now. We started so we could get some help understanding how to deal with our kids. In the process we found that we needed some help with our own relationship. Today we went to see him and found out that we were arguing all week about something that could have been solved easily. We have to stop mind reading each other and placing thoughts that are not necessary. It confuses the real message coming from the other person. He actually stopped us just prior to a fight to make us realize that we were not that far off from understanding each other. We had the same train with the same basic knowledge but we turned in different directions. Understanding each other gave me a simple peace of mind. I hope that I can put it into practice and empower my husband instead of the opposite.

today

Ok so today isn't the best day for me. I have been feeling low all week. My grandmother is now in the hospital. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I hate this house. I hate my wheelchair. I hate everything right now. I spent most of the day yesterday crying my eyes out. Yet no one but my parents really seemed to care. I don't know what it is going to take to get me out of this funk. UGH

new car

So I must love the hubby a lot. Yesterday I took it upon myself to shop for and purchase a pickup truck from my bed. We have had a windstar mini van for the last three years. We both hate it. I feel like a scum bag when I'm in it. So I decided that enough was enough and I called the company we bought it from. I asked them to work the numbers and see if they could find me a truck instead. They did. They found a 2006 ford f150. This truck is a beauty. It is black and has a bedliner and cover. When it arrived last night my hubby jumped in it and didn't come back for an hour. When he got home he told me that he didn't think I could understand how much he loved his truck. He was actually glowing. I love to make him happy. Lately I've been doing too much to make him happy. I exhaust myself trying to make his job easier. I need to learn to get better first. He is a big boy and can handle a month of having to be mom and dad right? At least that is what everyone keeps telling me.

new year

well it's a new year. Is everything going to be new this year? I hope so. I hope that things fall in line and my life will start being more what I want it to be. I can't wait to try my wii fit plus. I also can't wait to get started on trying to have a baby. It will be difficult and painful but I am ready. I want to have a little one who is a little version of me and not someone who can be taken away. I love my step kids but having your own is so different. I really can't wait.